Much needed update!

I can't believe that I haven't updated the blog in so long. I guess since so many of you that read it on are on facebook I got lazy! We are now 26 weeks with another baby boy. So his name will be Grayson Michael Verhulst. Amie is doing well. She is tired but other than that says she feels pretty good! I am still amazed to have a friend like her. I am getting anxious for our new little guy to get here. We are moved into the new house and I have started getting things ready for him. I am a little early in doing this but I think it makes it feel more real. I will try to do a better job of updating!

Thump, thump!

We have movement! Not all the time but she has defiantly felt that baby move! I am so excited. So I love getting updated on baby Monkey! Yeah so I have been calling the baby monkey! Don't worry that won't be their name! I still could not decide between the boy names so I asked Amie and she said Grayson! So there you have it! Baby will either be Grayson Michael Roesslein Verhulst or Addyson Ann Roesslein Verhulst. Ok so I really do not hyphenate but I like to add it in there when I can! I am proud to be a Roesslein! So that is all for now. I am just counting the days until out u/s! Sept 15Th. I know it is not that far away but it seems forever away! So that is all for now!

Here is a pic of the 16 week belly!
http://s28.photobucket.com/albums/c247/mjverhulst/?action=view&current=16weeks.jpg

14 week update!

We had our 14 week appt. today! All is well with the baby! We heard the heartbeat. It was around 144 today. Amie is measuring right on target and things seem to be going really well. I was so excited to hear the baby. We could hear the bloblup sound of the baby moving too! I just love that! I can't wait for Amie to feel movement. Nothing yet so far! We have another appt in four weeks and we will also have our "big" ultrasound! I hope the baby show us their business! I am dying to know what we are having. I truly do not care, but just can't wait to find out! I have a feeling that it may be a girl! That is the feeling Amie has also, so that probably means it is a boy! LOL So I thought it might be fun if people make guesses on what they think we are having! We are still undecided on the boy name, but we are defiently going to use Addyson Ann if it is a girl. So still our names for boys are Grayson Michael or Jamyson Michael! <3 <3

much needed update!

So I am waaaaay behind in updating this blog. I was sick and in the hospital. Our 12 u/s was Tuesday and I was unable to go. It broke my heart not to be able to make it but I was in the hospital and just couldn't. But Amie being Amie was wonderful and came by the hospital on the way home to bring me the u/s pics. I did get to see the baby yesterday. She was having a little cramping so we went in to be checkout out. Turns out she has a UTI. But we did get an u/s and got to see the baby moving and a shaking! So things are going well. We are almost 13 weeks!!! The first trimester is over!!!! Yeah! We are still playing with baby names. You can tell me what you think!

Girl is still Addyson Ann Verhulst

Boy either Grayson Michael, or Jamieson Michael Verhulst

So what do you think?

8 weeks

So I can't believe that I forgot to update after my u/s. We had one very healthy heartbeat in there. There had been another sac, but it was empty. So we are 8 weeks and 3 days! Amie gets to have her hormones checked at 10 weeks and hopefully she will be able to go off the supplements. I am sure her butt would be grateful! So we just have to wait some more! We will have another u/s at 12 weeks. I can't wait to see the baby again!

passing the time.....

So I am getting ahead of myself and thinking of baby names! I already have my girl name! It is Addyson Ann! I have had that since I was pregnant with Anderson. But now I am trying to come up with boy names. I think I am just trying to pass the time untill our u/s on monday. So far for boys I like, Owen, Brady, and Payton. I want to use Michael as the middle name after my husband. But last night I was looking at baby names and came across the name Grayson! So now I have that on my mind! Mike isn't as sure about that one. He said he liked Jackson better. That was one of the names that we had when I was pregnant with Anderson. So what do you all think?!

YEAH!

So Amie had more blood work today and our number jumped from 1650 to 4260!!!!! In 48 hours! I am so excited I could scream! We have our u/s on the 29th, and I pray that we have a heartbeat. I am hoping I will be less nervous when I see that! Please keep those prayers coming. I know that Wesley and Emma are watching over us. I pray that they keep baby safe.


[url=http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/][img]http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev045prs__.png[/img][/url]

Beta Hell

So we have been living in beta hell for the last week. Our first number was so good at 234. But then when we had our repeat beta and it did not double. It was 417. So we had another one on friday and it was only 513. So I was not feeling very hopeful. So we had to wait all weekend and finally we had some more blood work today and the number jumped to 1600. So we are not sure if there were two and we lost one or maybe we just have a slow riser. We will have another beta on thursday. I pray that our number continue to rise. Think sticky thoughts for us!

drum roll please!!!!!!

I just got the call and our first beta was 234! Yeah! Today is 14 days since my egg retrieval, and 9 days since our transfer! So our numbers are right in line with having twins! Yeah! I think we are all a little in shock! But I am over the moon! We will repeat on Wed! Please continue the prayer! They seem to be working!

Fears

So I am going to post this site to my facebook. I need to get over my fears that telling people will make something bad happen. I can't spend my life afraid. I pray that things go well and we have another baby! But please keep us in your prayers. We have the beta in the morning. On a side note please pray for Amie and her youngest. He was having trouble breathing and had to spend last night in the hospital. He might have to spend one more night. It sounds like it was some kind of allergy/asthma attack kind of thing. So we will keep you all updated!

Well.......

So Amie and I are crazy! For those of you that know us, it is really true! So "we" started taking pregnancy tests 4 days post transfer. Well on day 5 we got a BFP!!! It was faint, but still there! So she has continued to take pregnancy tests and they are still positive. Yesterday we couldn't wait so she went in for a blood test! See, I told you we are crazy! It too was positive! Then she tested again this morning and the line was MUCH darker! Yeah! We have our beta on monday! So now we wait some more and pray! Everyone think sticky thoughts!

....and now we wait!!!

So we had a very exciting day! We had the transfer this morning! I had two Grade A embryos transferred to Amie! Of my 11 eggs, six fertilized and then as of this morning we had two perfect looking ones and three slower ones. The doctor recommended that we transfer two, so that is what we did! I guess we will have a 35% chance of having twins! Which I think would be great!!!! So now we have to wait 9 days until they will do a blood test! Amie and I are not sure we can wait that long! I'm sure there will be at least one HPT before that! We are praying that things go well and we get our BFP!!! Amie and I were both emotional today! During the transfer we were both tearing up. They were happy tears. The doctor thinks that we have a really good shot! I still can't believe that I have such an amazing friend. I think I am still in shock! I don't think I have stopped smiling all day! So, now we wait!

update

So we had our egg retrieval on monday. We got 11 eggs! Mike and I went up the night before and had a really good time together. I forgot how much I like my husband! So anyway of the 11 eggs 6 fertilized and as of this morning they were still doing well and dividing the way they are supposed to! So we got the call from the clinic and we will transfer sat. I am not sure what time yet, they will call us Friday to let us know. Yeah!

I did have a little set back yesterday. I was having a lot of pain in my right side so after talking to the RE's office they said to go to the ER to make sure everything was ok. They did an u/s and I was collecting some extra fluid, but they thought that my pain was mainly because they had such a hard time getting to that ovary. I feel better today. But I had to laugh yesterday. Everyone that I talked to at the ER I explained about my egg retrieval and about my trigger shot which is the HCG hormone. I knew that they would run a pregnancy test and I figured I would have a false positive. So sure enough the Dr comes in an says that I am pregnant. I said "No I am not"! He replied with "yes you are!" We went back and forth and again I explained about the trigger shot. He admitted that he did not know anything about infertility treatments, so I was finally able to convince him I was not pregnant! Especially since the day before they had sucked all of my eggs out! LOL

Amie also started her shots last night. I guess Jeff,(her DH) did a good job. She said that they were not as bad as she thought they would be. She said her tushy is a little sore today, but not to bad. I feel kind of relieved. I felt so bad about her having to do the big ugly shot! So, so far so good! Keep us in your prayers! Hopefully in the near future we will get our BFP!

Holy Hormones!

So here I am on day 9 of stimming. The hormones are taking over my body! I had a u/s yesterday and they were really happy with my progress. I will have another one in the morning. We have all signed so much paperwork I think I might have just signed over my husband! I am not even sure anymore! I am getting really excited and nervous. If they are still happy with my progress tomorrow we will have the egg retrevial on monday! EEK! If we E/R on monday that would put the transfer date for Sat! I am getting through all my shots fine. They make me feel really sick, but oh well! The things you will do to have a baby! I am having a hard time keeping food down, but maybe that just means I will come out of this thinner! Poor Mike, I am all over the place with my moods. I am happy,sad, excited, mad, etc.! They can change in a split second! I am just praying that things go well and we get another baby.

I am so grateful to have Amie. I truelly believe that she was meant to be my friend. I am not sure what I would do without her. I still can't believe that she is willing to have a baby. She is like a sister to me and I love her with all my heart. I hope she knows what she means to me. I have to share a little story with you all. Amie has a five year old and she decided to tell him that she was going to have a baby for Mike and I. He was fine with all of that, but questioned how the baby was going to get in her tummy. She told him that it was magic. Then he wondered how the baby was going to get out. Again, she explained that it was magic. He thought about and then was worried how she was going to perform magic, since she did not have a magician's outfit! That was the only thing he was concerned about! I told her we will have to get her a top hat and a wand! LOL Out of the mouth of babes!

Here comes the estrogen

So Amie and I both started on the estrogen today! I have to say that I am starting to lose patients with my Dr office. Not the dr but his staff. This morning I had a blood draw and a baseline u/s of my ovaries. It was done there at their clinic. After everything I was told that I would get a call this afternoon with my results. So 3:30 came and I still had not heard anything so I called the office, and they were closed. But their message said that they were open until 4. I was so mad. So I had the dr paged. He called me back and said that we needed to be on estrogen. UGH. So he said that I will start the stimming process on Wed. So I am going to start calling first thing in the morning to make sure my meds get called in.

I am a ball of emotions. I am excited, and scared. I am so worried that this isn't going to work. I want another baby so badly that it physically hurts. I am trying not to stress, but anyone who knows me knows that is not possible! I pray that things go well. I want my family to grow. I have so much love to give.

The forces of nature

So after both Amie and I being late we both started today! Finally! I talked to the RE this morning and I go in on monday for blood work and an u/s of my ovaries! Finally we are "maybe" getting somewhere! I hope I will know more after I see the RE on Monday! I just think it is neat that Amie and my cycles synced up on our own. We started out almost two weeks apart and now we started on the same day! Yeah!

another appt

So we met with the RE again today. I complained about not getting any call backs from his staff so he gave me his private number! So we have a plan of action. Again we are waiting for AF. Story of our lives! So a lot depends on when we start. Hopefully Amie will start first. If not they can hold me for a week. Any longer and it would make my egg quality not as strong. But if Amie starts first then they put her on estregen up to 6 weeks. In that time if my day two tests look good then I will start drugs for egg stimulation. I am not sure how many days that will take and then when they become a certain size they will give me the trigger shot which is the HCG hormone. Then we get to retrieve. Thank god I will be asleep for that! Oh and they checked Mike's sperm count and it was over 73 million!!!!! So we know we are good there! So I am happy that we are making progress! The big thing he kept stressing is that Amie and I need to keep our stress levels down. He even said he may put us on xanex to keep us calm. So I am trying to take a deep breath. I just hope things go well for us. I am ready for Anderson to have a little brother or sister. I also pray that things go quickly. This is very expensive and I am not sure how many times we can afford to try. I know...not stress! Easier said than done!

So sad

There is a new angel in my family. My cousin and his wife delivered their stillborn baby tonight. It has just brought back so many memories and scares me about the whole process of trying to have another baby. I can't believe that this has happened to two people in my family. What are the chances. We are not even "blood" related. This is on my dads side but he is not my biological father. But I feel like he is my real dad. I am rambling, but I am just a ball of emotions. I got to see the baby and she is beautiful. Please pray for my cousin and his wife. I just hate that this happened to them.

papers signed!Here is a list of things you should NEVER say to someone experiencing IF --

So we met with the attorney and got the papers signed! FINALLY! I will call the RE in the morning to get their fax number so I can send them a copy of the contract. Now we just have to wait for our cycles so we can have blood work. We missed me by 2 days!........2 days!!!!!!! But I must move on! I am trying to stay postive and keep healthy happy thoughts. I am in the process of weaning off of caffiene. Yuck! So far I have been getting headaches. Oh well par for the course!

This is something I found on a suurogacy blog that I have been reading. I thought it was very fitting and wanted to share!

Here is a list of things you should NEVER say to someone experiencing IF --They are young and have plenty of time--I was only 24 when I was diagnosed but it didn't help when people said, you are still so young. Well women's fertility starts declining when you hit 30 and I really wanted my children close together. Doesn't IF hurt all the same no matter what age you are?Maybe god only wants you to have one (or none)--
First who are you to tell me what god wants. He wants me a good mother to only have one baby to love, but the crack whore down the street to have 10? Did God tell you that? It seems like something he would say.....Relax and it will happen--Really will it?

But a RE can (reproductive endocrinologist)IVF is against religion--Again did God tell you this? God created the modern science to have assisted reproductive technologies and I think God does want us to use them. Also in the bible there are stories of surrogacy, so again how is god against this?Well I personally wouldn't go through all that--Well good for you!

My husband just has to look at me to get me pregnant--again good for you, but how exactly is that helpful to ME?Are you doing it right?--um.......I think so. Why do you want to come watch and take notes? I think I know the precise hours of which I ovulate, which position is the best for baby making and to put my feet up when I am done. I know more about my body and reproduction then I ever wanted and you want to know if we know how to have sex correctly?????

Why don't you just adopt!--My response is usually "why don't you"? I am all for adoption, it's really a wonderful way to build your family, however it's not easy. It's expensive and very hard to do. Usually the person saying this has never adopted or even looked into it. If it was so easy, most people who want a baby would have one! Also the person saying this is not offering a $40,000 check help with the expense of adoption.Don't mention how hard YOUR pregnancy is--most of the time IF people don't care. They would gladly be throwing up all day, have swollen ankles, a huge stomach, stretch marks just to have a baby. Also don't be gloatful. Personally for me, one of the hardest things, were people who would gloat in my face about how easy it was for them to get pregnant, how great it was for them.

And on a surrogacy side:don't ask very personal questions, related to money! (if we wanted you to know we would tell you)don't try to second guess our decisions (we are the ones who researched this for 2 years, not you.
-If you have a valid question, ask it, otherwise keep your thoughts to yourself)don't pity us (we are incredibly excited to be on this journey. We have found the perfect surrogate for us and couldn't be happier)don't say anything like this baby isn't really "our baby"(because it is. We are doing Gestational surrogacy, it's our egg and our sperm, but even if it wasn't, it would still be "OUR" baby)don't point out the negative press surrogacy gets on then news (if you researched you would know thousands of baby's are born every year via surrogacy and it goes wonderfully. The news just doesn't talk about all of those!)

-Do:be supportiveask valid questions if you have them, if you are interested in how the process worksbe excited with usEnjoy our surrogate pregnancy with usWhat you can say/do--be supportive, just listen.--research IF on your own, so you can get a feeling of what they are going through--remember them on days like Mother's day and Father's day, and things like a Baby shower, where it would be difficult for them to attend without being sad--ask what you can do to help, usually it's only to talk... Do pregnant women bother me as a whole, not too much. I do get a twinge of sadness that I will never again be pregnant, no cute baby bump for me, no glowing air, no feeling a baby kick inside me. What makes me sad/mad is women who shouldn't be having babies getting pregnant. As I mentioned above, the crack whore, women who just keep having babies to stay on the system, women who aren't good mothers, don't really care about their children, just keep having them because they can. Those situations hurt.

Finally getting somewhere!

So after what seems like years we meeting with the attorney to sign the final surrogacy contract. I am so glad that we are as Amie could start any day and we have to have blood test done on her third day of her cycle. But I am out this month for my blood tests since I started before we could get the papers signed. UGH! I am so ready to get this process started. I have been trying to take better care of myself so that I can grow the best eggs ever! I am trying to work out and eat better. I think I am going to have a hard time cutting out the caffiene. But I have done it before so I am sure I can do it again! I am a ball of emotions tonight. I am so grateful to Amie for offering to do this for us, but at the same time it is a little sad to me. I know that I will never be pregnant again. While my brain knows it is for the best, my heart breaks a little. But the main thing is we want another baby. I don't want Anderson growing up as an only child like I did. Plus I just feel like I have so much love to give!